The Worst Fanfiction of all Time Part 3
by Dr. Jimface
Summary: The not-so-epic conclusion to the series that everyone knows and hates! Yes! The Worst Fanfiction of all Time is in its final stages! Don't think I'll be nice and make it good! It will be the worst one yet! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Have a nice day!
1. Prologue: The Experiment

Stephen walked into the lab.

"Michael!" he called. No response.

"Michael!" no response.

"Michael, where the hell are you?" he was quite agitated. He had discovered a rnew source of energy, and he wished to share it with Michael as soon as possible.

"What is it?" came a voice. Stephen walked into another room to find his colleague looking under a microscope. "I'm observing this bacteria."

"I can see that," commented Stephen. "But you need to see this!"

Michael sighed. "All right," he relented. "But let me get back to this afterward."

"Fine, fine!" said Stephen excitedly. "Just follow me!" he led Michael to a room with a glowing black crystal attached to several wires.

Michael blinked. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Most likely," said Stephen.

"This isn't good, Stephen. You realize we're not supposed to work with Zor, right?" Zore was a kind of crystal that radiated magic. The kind of magic that was radiated was dark magic. There was a strict rule prohibiting possession of Zor inside the laboratory on account of its unfortunate tendency to leave its victims all over the place. Literally.

"I suppose," said Stephen uncomfortably. "But watch this!" he flipped a switch on a machine, and several lightbulbs above them flicked off.

"It turns lights off?" asked Michael doubtfully.

"No!" exclaimed Stephen. "I've been powering this entire room using the crystal for three hours! And that was with 1 volt of electricity stimulating it!"

Michael was impressed. "1 volt? That's it?"

"Yes!" shouted Stephen happily. "I know it's a bit unorthodox, but think of the implications!"

"How much can it power?" asked Michael.

"Depends on how much I stimulate it with," said Stephen. "I've been experimenting with this for a couple of weeks now with several machines, and as far as I can tell, the limits are rather delicate. I have successfully stimulated it to its maximum capacity a number of times,"

"Would you show me?" asked Michael, now quite excited.

"Of course!" replied Stephen, walking up to the machine hooked up to the crystal.

"And I think that you actually used 2 volts to stimulate it," said Michael.

"Why do you say that?" asked Stephen, pressing buttons on a console.

"I think you accidentally picked the machine that's one volt off," said Michael, pointing to the number identifying the machine on the side.

"Wait, what?" asked Stephen. He tried to undo what he just did, but he had already started to charge the crystal.

"GET DOWN!" he shouted as the crystal started to hum and glow. Not two seconds later, the entire building was decimated.

"Michael!" shouted Stephen roughly two minutes later. He had suffered no ill effects other than an injured arm and a lot of dust in his lungs.

"Over here!" he heard a shout.

"Michael!" Stephen shouted, running towards the blur in the cloud of dust.

"Stephen, I-" Michael said, then suddenly stopped, an expression of terror on his face. He clamped his hands to his ears. "Stop!" he shouted, falling on the ground. "Be quiet!" he writhed, an expression of utter horror on his face as he started to tremble uncontrollably.

"Michael!" shouted Stephen, but he could barely hear himself. He was hearing dozens of voices in his mind, multiplying every second. He began to feel weak. He could barely make out his last thought before he fainted.

_What's happening…_

Author's Note: Hello! I have started the last installment of the Worst Fanfiction of all Time! Let us rejoice that it will finally end! I was going to wait longer and plan things out, but then I just decided to improvise. Like I've done in every single chapter thus far. Also, something that intrigues me: I haven't gotten a SINGLE bad review. Not even ONE. You people are not doing your duty and reviewing this badly. _**IT'S CALLED THE WORST FANFICTION OF ALL TIME, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. WHY ARE YOU NOT FLAMING IT.**_ But I digress. I hope you enjoy the final part of the Worst Fanfiction of all Time. Have a nice day!


	2. Ch 1: Hey, Smergenflov's back again!

It was a normal day in the Mushroom Kingdom, with Mario and Luigi walking around Princess Peach's Castle. Just a week ago, Dimentio, Fawful, and Midbus departed. Dimentio's wish was to go to the Overthere, while Fawful's was to continue living.

"Why would you want to go to the Overthere?" Jaydes had asked. "Why don't you want to continue living?"

"If I stay here, I risk featuring in another one of Dr. Jimface's pathetic attempts at literature," Dimentio had said sourly, but was stopped when Jaydes and Fawful gave him looks that had said, _You're not supposed to talk about him!_

Midbus had departed with Fawful, saying that he wished to protect Fawful.

Peach had called Mario and Luigi into the throne room, and both wished to know why. "What did you want to talk to us about, princess?" asked Mario, walking into the room.

"Oh, you know," said Peach, bored as a grinning Lord Smergenflov stood directly behind her with a knife to her throat. "The usual."

"Oh, for Grambi's sake!" exclaimed Mario, exasperated. "Do you EVER give up?"

"Not really," said Smergenflov, releasing Peach and rising into the air. "I have returned!"

"I noticed," remarked Mario. "Oh, and I figured out why you dress in that suit!"

"And why is that?" asked Smergenflov with a sneer.

"You're a pimp!" exclaimed Mario.

"Why does _everyone_ say that?" shouted Smergenflov. He waved his hand, and a spire of rock shot upward and smashed Mario against the ceiling. As soon as Mario touched the wall, he stopped moving, wriggled around, and fell off the screen while sad music played.

Smergenflov paused. "What just happened?"

"He lost a life," said Luigi.

"I've done it!" Smergenflov exclaimed. "I'VE KILLED MARIO!"

"You'll never get away with whatever you're doing this time!" shouted Mario.

"Wait, what?" asked Smergenflov as a large black question mark appeared above his head.

"I ate a 1-up mushroom this morning because it's Tuesday!" shouted Mario triumphantly.

"Why Tuesday?" asked Smergenflov.

"Bowser has this thing about only kidnapping Peach on Tuesdays. It's become sort of a routine," replied Mario.

"I thought that it was Bowser when you knocked on the door," added Peach. "I had just finished packing for the kidnapping."

"Anyway…" continued Smergenflov. "I've finally succeeded!"

"Not really," replied Mario. "We kind of destroyed you the last two times you tried to beat us,"

"True, but now I have _this_!" at this, Smergenflov pulled out a stone oil lamp.

"A lamp?" asked Peach. "_THAT'S _your new trick?!"

"I assure you, this is no ordinary lamp!" he grinned savagely as he rubbed the stone container. After roughly two seconds, purple and black smoke began to pour from the thin spout. This smoke coalesced into a humanoid shape that was ten feet tall. He had a bare chest with a red sash around his waist, a black goatee, and a short tuft of black hair erupting from his otherwise bald head. A small silver ring at the surface of his scalp kept his little hair in order. His skin was a deep purple, and his fingernails were black and pointed. His lower half was a semisolid tail of purple smoke. The grin on his face was savage, but what was most terrifying was his eyes. His right was green, while his left was silver. They glowed with a cruel intelligence, and Mario could feel them boring into his soul, studying him.

"Good afternoon," the being said pleasantly, his voice dripping with barely contained glee.

"Er…hello…" said Mario, put off by this new foe.

"Oh, I see I haven't introduced myself!" said the being in mock horror. "My name is Chaos."

"Chaos was split into several pieces ages ago," said Smergenflov smugly. "As you may have already guessed, he is a genie, and-"

"_**WAIT JUST A SECOND!**_" shouted Luigi. "_**YOU'RE A GENIE?!**_"

"Put simply, yes, yes I am." Chaos was almost patronizing at this point, clearly enjoying the encounter thus far.

"Can someone tell me why Dr. Jimface insists on using the _worst_ possible ideas in this story?!" shouted Luigi in exasperation.

"Who's Dr. Jimface?" asked Chaos, Peach, Smergenflov, and Mario simultaneously.

Luigi shook his head suddenly, as if clearing a headache. "I, uh…I don't know," he seemed to be trying to remember something, but shrugged and ignored it.

"As I was saying," continued Smergenflov. "Peach surely remembers the Beanstar, yes? It changed into a large eyeball, yes?" at this, Chaos' right eye glittered.

"Yeah, after you had me read jokes to it," Peach said sourly. She didn't have fond memories of being kidnapped by Smergenflov.

"It has been said that an act of utter evil shall render it possible for Chaos to reassemble," explained Smergenflov maliciously. "What had not been said was that the Beanstar still needed to be spoken to by Princess Peach."

"The act of utter evil was a barrage of _**BAD PUNS**_?!" Peach exclaimed.

"Why do you think I use them as magic?" replied Smergenflov with a smirk.

"Good point," said Peach thoughtfully.

"Enough of this talk!" shouted Smergenflov suddenly. "Chaos!"

"Yes?"

"I wish the Mushroom Kingdom to be under my command! Reshape it in my own image!" Smergenflov spread his arms dramatically.

"With pleasure!" said Chaos, and he conjured an orb of dark energy in his hands. Peach stepped back towards Mario and Luigi. Mario was frozen in fear.

"Mario!" Luigi shouted, the black orb in Chaos' palms slowly growing bigger.  
"Guh!" Mario started, then frantically began to search his pockets for something that would help.

The sphere of energy in Chaos' hands suddenly expanded explosively just as Mario activated his Return Pipe. The three boxes around Peach, Mario, and Luigi stopped mid-spin as it collided with the wave of dark magic.

Pain. The boxes' collision with the energy brought pain. They were stuck there for what seemed like an eternity, suspended in time, space, and thought, when suddenly the boxes spun around as quick as lightning and sent the heroes shooting through time and space.

_ZAP._

The first thing Mario noticed was that they were in Flipside. The second thing he noticed was Merlon. The third thing he noticed was that he was backed up against a wall against a band of Toads.

The Toads wore blue suits with red ties and gold lenses. Their head-mushroom-cap-thing was black, devoid of spots. Each Toad had a gleaming sword. One wore a black cape and had silver spots on his head. Mario assumed that this Toad was the leader of the attackers. All of their faces were devoid of emotion as they mercilessly advanced on Merlon.

The leader's head suddenly snapped towards Mario.

"**Intruders detected**," it said monotonously. "**Analyzing,**" its lenses flashed for a moment. "**Intruders identified as Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and Princess Toadstool 'Peach.'**" Suddenly, the spots on its head flashed gold. "**Assignment received.**" It said. "**Terminate.**" Its head spots flashed green momentarily, and previously unseen spots on the other Toads' flashed gold. Their heads whirled around to face the heroes as one.

"**Assignment received.**" They said as one. "**Terminate."**

**Author's Note: FINALLY updated the blasted thing. Sorry I've been away for a while, I've had stuff I've needed to do. Anyway, I gave you a cliffhanger again! Heeheehee! Aren't you curious as to what the heck's going on here? If not, then I think you need to reread the entire thing. I'll just wait until you're done…..Okay, now back to business. MWAHAHAHA! You have no idea what's going on! You're all doomed! Have a nice day!**


	3. Ch 2: OMG, HE UPDATED IT

"**ASSIGNMENT RECEIVED**," said the scary robo-toads of fear. "**TERMINATE**,"

"Mario," said Peach tentatively. "Are those toads?"

"I'm not really sure," said Mario as the aforementioned toads advanced, swords drawn.

"_**AYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYY EYEEYEYAYEYYAYYYADAHALJSLFJA SDFJALS;DJL;ASHLAHLALA!"**_ shrieked Luigi as he charged with his hammer drawn. Mario and Peach stared as Luigi bashed them all with his hammer, which was now crackling with lightning.

After the toads were down, Luigi looked over to see Mario and Peach still staring at him. Mario's eye twitched a bit.

"What?" asked Luigi innocently.

"Y-you just….just…what?" stuttered Peach.

"Guh?" added Mario articulately and cleverly.

"Ahem." This came from Merlon, who was no longer trapped against a wall. "Greetings, heroes, I see you have come to us in our hour of need!"

"Guh?" added Mario again, cunningly gaining the upper hand.

"What's going on here?" asked Peach, still quite confused.

"Guh?" said Mario for a third time, clearly agreeing with Peach's inquiry.

"You don't know?" asked Merlon, perplexed.

"Not really…" said Luigi.

"Well, some fellow named Lord Smergenflov seems to have taken over the entire Mushroom Kingdom," started Merlon. "He's currently absorbed the Waffle Kingdom and is working on the Beanbean Kingdom, from what I can tell."

"WHAT?" asked Peach.

"Furthermore, he claimed that he had destroyed all three of you, which has proven false," added Merlon.

"Merlon," this came from Mario, who had finally recovered. "How long ago was this?"

"Roughly six months," said Merlon. "His lackeys have been attacking Flipside for weeks. I thought that they had just won when you showed up,"

"But we used a return pipe to come here right when Smergenflov struck," argued Peach. "How could it be six months later?"

"The pipe uses a very delicate kind of dimensional magic to teleport here," Merlon said. "Any kind of disturbance may have caused you to appear here later than you should have,"

"Well, that clears that up," stated Mario. "We need to go rescue the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"Yeah!" said Luigi and Peach simultaneously.

"Are you sure?" asked Merlon doubtfully.

"Absolutely," said Mario confidently. "We've taken him down twice, we can do it again!"  
"As you wish," said Merlon. "Prepare to be teleported!"

_ZAP._

Immediately, Mario and his friends were in a desert. A few stray houses that looked like they could fall apart any second were around them. A broken fountain weakly trickled droplets of water in front of them.

"This is Toad Town," whispered Peach. As she said it, Mario knew she was right. He looked down and saw nothing but sand.

"What happened to your palace, then?" asked Mario, looking at where her palace would have been. In its place he saw a colossal citadel made entirely of black stone. A tower jutted into the heavens, halfway obscured by dark clouds which swirled slowly around its top. Mario felt a tap behind him. He turned around to find himself staring into the eyes of one of Smergenflov's corrupted toads.


	4. Ch 3: Smergs, scrying, and Smergenflov

Mario felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find himself staring into the lens-covered eyes of one of Smergenflov's corrupted toads.

Abruptly, the toad suddenly threw its arms around Mario, Luigi, and Peach.

"Mario! Luigi! Princess!" it exclaimed in a girlish voice. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"Right," replied Mario. "Who are you exactly?"

"Oh, sorry," said the toad as it backed away. Suddenly, a large cloud of magenta smoke enveloped the toad. When it cleared, a green young-looking girl stood smiling in front of the heroes.

"MIMI?!" all three shouted simultaneously.

"Yep!" said Mimi happily. "Golly, am I glad to see you. Where've you been?"

"Long story," answered Peach. "What are you doing here?"

"Impersonating a Smerg, of course," replied Mimi, as if this was obvious.

"That's what those are called?" asked Mario. "'Smergs?'"

"Well, 'SMERG' is technically an acronym," said Mimi. "But when you have the choice between 'Smerg' and 'Super Monstrous Evilized Reanimated Gastrointestinaldimensionalp neumountramicroscopicsilicov olcanoconeosicterrifyingdemo nichydromushroomoids,' it's usually easier to say 'Smerg.'"

"That makes sense," said Luigi thoughtfully.

"Gosh golly, what am I doing?" exclaimed Mimi suddenly. "I have to show you guys to the others!"

"What others?" asked Peach.

"You'll see," said Mimi facetiously. She then proceeded to skip away. The heroes shrugged and began to follow. Eventually, they stopped at the end of an alley. Mimi took out a remote control. She pushed a cubic blue button with an exclamation point on top. A sand-colored warp pipe rose out of the ground in front of them. As the heroes made to jump in, Mimi held out a hand to stop them. "Hold on a sec," she said. She rubbed a small white crystal on a ring she had on. "Okay! You can go in now!" she said, satisfied. The trio jumped in without hesitation, eager to leave the wasteland.

Lord Smergenflov yawned as he took a sip from a cup of coffee. "Time to check the cameras," he muttered as he walked sluggishly to the scrying room. "Desert cam, fine, fountain cam, fine, Mario cam, fine, palace cam, fine...hold on." The Mario scrying sensor never worked. It was always blank. He peered at the screen. Mario was running down an alleyway with both Peach and Luigi, following some green girl. "Interesting," he said to himself. His eyes narrowed as a warp pipe rose out of the sand. So that's how smugglers had gotten in and out of the town. He paused the video as Mario jumped down the warp pipe. He could fast-forward later. He rewound to see Merlon teleporting the heroes, their discovery of the new Toad Town, and the revelation of Mimi as a false guard.

"TOADSWORTH!" barked Smergenflov.

"Yes, lord?" asked the now-corrupted toad.

"Set an ocular into that alleyway," Smergenflov ordered as he pointed at the screen. "Cloak it, too."

"Yes, lord," said Toadsworth as he exited. Smergenflov grinned as he watched what was currently happening to the heroes. "Let the games begin..."

Mario exited the pipe along with Luigi, Peach, and Mimi to find himself in a jungle. "Where are we?" he asked Mimi.

"Keelhaul Key," she said happily. "Come on, the others will want to see you."

"What others?" asked Luigi as the heroes followed Mimi.

"We formed a resistance group," Mimi explained. "We call ourselves-"

"THE RESISTANCE!" bellowed Flavio as the heroes entered the island's camp.

"I thought we were going with 'Toad Town Underground,'" said Toadette.

"I would've gone with 'Mushroom Liberation Front,'" said Popple.

"I still prefer 'Rebel Alliance...'" muttered Doopliss as he came up behind the heroes.

"It's great to see you guys!" exclaimed Luigi.

"Except you," added Mario as he glared at Doopliss.

"Hate to break it to you, Slick, but I'm on your side," said the duplighost, grinning. "Frankly, you're lucky I'm here at all. That Summons went off as I was in the middle of a troop of Smergs."

"Summons?" inquired Peach.

"That's what I was doing when I stopped you at the Warp Pipe," said Mimi as she showed the heroes her ring. "We each have one of these. When we rub the jewel, we can call someone else wearing a ring to your location."

"Why call Doopliss?" asked Mario.

"Because he needed to know that you're here and he's always in the Obsidian Palace, masquerading as a Smerg," replied Mimi.

"I'm assuming that the Obsidian Palace is that huge palace that I also assume is Smergenflov's?" assumed Luigi.

"Yes," said Doopliss.

"Our leader will want to see you," said Mimi. "Be right back!" With that, she ran off.

"...So." said Doopliss. Silence. A cricket chirped in the backround. "How about this weather?"

"Pretty nice," replied Mario. The cricket sounded again. "So how've you been?"

"I've been all right," answered Doopliss. The cricket stopped chirping. Mario assumed that it was dead.

"Welling, welling, welling!" declared a voice behind Mario. He turned around to see none other than Fawful.

"Evening of good, Mustache."


	5. Ch 4: Return of the Mariobus

"Evening of good, Mustache," said Fawful, grinning madly as always.

"FAWFUL?!" exclaimed Mario. "YOU'RE the Resistance leader?!"

"I say to you YES!" declared Fawful. "Fawful is having the skills of leadership that are natural."

Mario suddenly stared open mouthed behind Fawful. Behind the Bean was a large, pink, anthropomorphic pig standing guard who was also gaping. The two began a sacred ritual which is commonly known as "the slow-motion reunion." Mario slowly ran at the creature with open arms, shouting "MMMMIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDBBBBBUUU UUSSSSSS" with tears of joy slowly flying behind him. Midbus also slowly ran at Mario, casually knocking aside Fawful in the process. "MMMMAAAAAAAAAAAARRRIIIOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!" he bellowed as the run continued. "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACC CKKK!" shouted Fawful as he slowly careened through the air, "Chariots of Fire" playing happily as he did so. Midbus picked Mario up with both arms and swung him around in a circle, still in slow motion, tears streaming from his eyes. Fawful sat up after his fall, his glasses off, open mouthed as he watched the spectacle. His eye twitched as the two leaned in. Once again, the duo was about to experience true happiness as they would kiss, months of passion barely contained in what would be the perfect kiss. This was love.

"CUT!" shrieked Fawful in rage. "HAVE THE STOPPING!"

The two suddenly looked up in surprise.

"MIDBUS!" yelled Fawful. "HOW COULD- JUST- WHAT IS-!" he paused a moment. "I HAVE FUUUUUUUURRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" With that, he passed out.

"I thought he knew?" asked Mario.

"Nope," replied Popple, Luigi, and Peach simultaneously, all of whom used to this.

"What's that?" asked Mimi. A palm tree had shriveled slightly. Leaves were slowly burning off. The transformation abruptly ceased and the tree shook itself, now a large snake.

"_You have defied me, all of you,_" hissed the snake, and Mario recognized the voice as belonging to Smergenflov. "_Your punishment shall be severe._" Red vapor issued forth as the Serpent's breath, hanging in the air for a moment before being absorbed into the rest of the air.

"We're not afraid of you!" shouted Mimi, also turning into a snake. Doopliss did likewise.

The snake turned to face them. "_You two shall return for duty!_" it hissed as it devoured both of them in an instant. "_You have incurred my wrath,_" it said to all the others. "_You have 3 days to surrender. Each day that you dither shall worsen your punishment. At the end of the third day, the Destroyer shall arrive at your door. Prepare yourselves, Resistance. The Purge has begun."_

With that, the snake dissolved into red vapor and was gone.


End file.
